"Marriage Looks Really Good on You"

 

Several times, in the last 6 months of my weight loss journey, I have been told that “marriage looks good on me.” I look happier, have more energy and am taking better care of myself. Up until this morning, that comment has made me cringe. Why? Because I am full of pride and want people to recognize that I look good on me! It has been just over a year now since I started watching my nutrition and exercising- all this change didn’t happen in just 6 months! It has been a year of hard work! I want credit for all the sweat and tears that has gone into it, but it felt like, from the comments, my being married just magically made this happen. I have been resenting that. Until now.

This morning on the drive to work, those words kept playing over and over in my head and, before I knew it, I was crying (which happens WAY too easily these days!).  This time, however, I wasn’t crying because my pride was wounded, but because I was overwhelmed by the grace of how good marriage does look  on me. Let me explain. Before I had gained all that weight, I was a tiny yet VERY unhealthy girl. I ate anything I wanted, drank excessive amounts of alcohol, smoked a pack of cigarettes a day and misplaced my value in my job and affection from guys. I was a total wreck. I was blessed enough to be brought into a small female bible study in college, but was so deep into myself, that there was no room for God in my life. I recognized God, sure, but not His sovereignty in my life.

 Fast forward a few years to when I was in cosmetology school. My doctor finally diagnosed me with anxiety and put me on some INTENSE medication to relieve the symptoms. At this time, I had many of the same bad habits and would go through some of the deepest hurts I have ever experienced which only pushed me deeper into myself and resulted in many regrets. It’s no wonder, then, that by the end of that year, I had gained 70 lbs and quit working in the “real world” to hide myself from people. This was the lowest point of my life. And it stayed low for a while. Fast forward again. Many of you have heard this part of the story: after being a full time nanny for a year, Teresa, the mother I worked for, finally convinced me to start exercising with her. Usually when I tell this story, I am overwhelmed by the grace God had on me by using my “hiding place” to save me from where I was headed, but that was only the beginning of the journey. I was still emotionally eating,  smoking, drinking and misplacing my value. Realizing that I tend to repeat my mistakes, I called my parents and asked if I could move home with them. They didn’t ask any questions or even hesitate to bring me home. I also decided it was time to get back to working in a more public setting again. Less than a month later, I met Jonas. Still broken, still wrecked and heavily guarded I knew I wasn’t ready to have him in my life, but the Lord saw otherwise.  Jonas made me laugh, which was very much needed. He distracted me which prevented me from becoming consumed by work. He was a friend so that I had someone to hang out with and talk to. He supported the decisions I  had made in order to bring healing. He was respectful and honest and told me upfront what his intentions were with me. He was patient and waited until I was ready to begin a relationship. He was trustworthy and has not wavered since that first time we met.  Seriously, what a catch!

Although I like to believe that I had started the road to health before him, it’s simply just not true! I had a concept of what I wanted, but lacked the discipline and drive to make it happen.  But the Lord has been so gracious and has shown me His character through Jonas.  In my brokenness, Jonas sees me and loves me. He consistently pursued(pursues) me  and does not abandon me. He loves me unconditionally, even when I throw tantrums or am hurtful to him. He is patient with me when it takes me a while to come around. He is kind to me and nurtures me. He hurts over my past but does not hold it to my account. He leads me well and has high ambitions for me. It blows my mind that God blessed me with a man whose love is a reflection of His own before I was even “marriage material.” It seems completely backwards to what I grew up believing, but here it is. Yet, as a result of God’s mercy and Jonas’ role in my life, I am healing at an exponential rate- I no longer smoke, I rarely have a drink, I am aware of what I eat, I exercise and my value is no longer found in what I do or how people feel about me. My life has completely transformed, not only externally, but internally as well. This is the realization that brought me to tears and I am so thankful that marriage looks good on me!

Not Quite What I Expected.

I’m just going to be really honest for a second. Blogging is not my strength. I enjoy the blogging community but always feel a loss for words whenever I sit down to write. I have had several people tell me I should blog about my weight loss journey in the past two months, but I have been digging my heels. I WANT to get my story out there, however, I feel a tremendous pressure to perform and have the perfect fitness blog that features the most cutting edge advancements in workouts as well as an arsenal of healthy recipes to try. That is not the stage of life that I am in. I am at a point in my life where I am newly married, assisting in caring/providing help for my in-laws, taking care of our “new” 8-year old dog who is riddled with health problems, focusing on continuing my journey to fitness all while working 3 jobs. I am at a very strenuous and exhausting season in my life. And I love it.

 

As hard and stressful as my plate may be at this point in time, there is a lot to celebrate in all that is going on. I am newly married. That in itself is a blessing and cause for great celebration. I am thankful, every day, for my husband who loves me well and works hard to take care of both me and his family. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulder, and yet, even when he is completely exhausted, he still finds a way to serve and love. His selflessness is incredible and has made me realize just how selfish I really am.

 

 

I am assisting in caring/providing help for my in-laws. Sure, my husband and I are tired from life itself and all that we have going on in it, but what a blessing to be able to help as much as we are! I am terrible about canceling plans if I am tired or have too much going on, but now we are held accountable to being with the family when we say we will be. It definitely stretches me past my comfort zone at times, but that is where growth comes from. I am thankful for the time we are able to commit to spending with my father-in-law and have even more enjoyed the times that I have been able to sit and talk with my new mom.

 

I am taking care of our “new” 8- year old dog who is riddled with health problems. I like dogs. However, for those of you who really know me, you know that I have never truly LOVED a dog. I’ve just never met a dog that made my heart melt, until Ollie. Aside from my husband, Ollie is one of my favorite things in this world. He loves all people and just wants to sit on the couch and cuddle with you. He does not bark or tear up the house. He came to use as an outdoor dog (he’s now indoor J ) and has yet to have an accident inside the house. Even though his medical problems are stressful and expensive, he is TOTALLY worth it.

 

I am focusing on continuing my journey to fitness. I have made a lot of progress in the last year, but I have a good bit further to go. There are moments when I am tired of the “slow and steady” pace and just want immediate results. More often than that, I want the “easy” button. It would be nice if I could just take a pill and not have to change my diet or exercise habits. But as much as I want to be “thin,” I want more to be healthy and for my results to last. I’m not going to lie, I probably have cheat meals more often than I should, but how awesome is it that I am STILL getting these results with splurging? I can’t tell you how excited I get when I step on the scale after spending an entire weekend gorging on “country cooking” or sweets. Almost EVERY time, I still lose weight. That’s when I know that I am losing my weight the right way- I don’t have to live in fear of what a few calories or carbs will do to my body. I don’t have to sit and stare as other people are able to enjoy eating cake. I can eat cake too without it having repercussions. Sure, NOT eating the cake would help me achieve my goals faster, but having the cake won’t wreck everything I have worked so hard for. I will probably do an entire blog on this subject later.

 

I am working 3 jobs. Yes, it is VERY overwhelming and exhausting, but here are some truths.

1. I have a full time job where I make salary/benefits, work with some awesome people and am able to put money into savings. That is a gift.

2. I am still doing hair. While it may not be what I envisioned or even how I wanted to use my license, my hands are still in hair. I have been blessed with some very dear and loyal clients who are willing to forgo the traditional salon atmosphere so that I can continue doing what I love on the side.

3. I am able to help others achieve their health/fitness needs. While being a coach is definitely my most recent endeavor, it absolutely is worth the added stress in my life. Aiding people to realize that their genetics or pre existing health conditions don’t define them is such an exciting thing. I am incredibly blessed to be apart this discovery and never even thought I would be in this position.

 

So there it all is. Yes, it is a lot. Yes, it is overwhelming at times, but I wouldn’t change any of it. I had intended to sit down and write about my health journey thus far but I guess that wasn’t what needed to be shared today. All this was to say, I would love to be a one stop fitness guide blog for all you who read this, but I am not in a season of my life where that is feasible. Who knows, maybe one day it will be, but for now, I will continue to write what is going on and relevant in my life. No more pressure to perform. J

Thanks for reading-
Sophie
 

Is It Possible To Have A "Holly, Jolly Christmas?"

I love the holiday season. It's hard not to enjoy all the sights, sounds and smells. But, in the midst of all the celebrations, we tend to get overwhelmed, stressed and we throw caution to the wind. Here are a few simple guidelines that will help you maintain balance through the rest of the holidays.

1.  Eat Breakfast within the first hour after waking up.  This will help you start your day off right and kick start your metabolism.

2.  Make sure to include protein in every meal. This will keep you full longer and your heart healthy. Protein is also a building block of the body- muscle, bone, skin and blood are all made up of protein.

3.  Eat every couple of hours to keep your blood sugar stable.  This will keep you from binging on everything in sight.

4.  Drink water- LOTS OF WATER!  Water also aids in curbing your appetite as well as flushing toxins out of your body.

5. Make "me" time a priority. Take time to unwind by doing things that YOU find energizing. Go for a walk, try a new recipe, read a book- whatever makes you feel restored. Keeping stress levels low aids in weight loss and a happier you all around! 

6.  Get at least 8 hours of sleep.  By fully resting your body, you boost your immune system and have more energy.

7.  Be thankful!  Take time each day to think up a couple of things you are grateful for each day. This is the perfect time of you to practice gratitude. What a humbling season this is!

As crazy and hectic as this season may be, it will not undo you to take a week off from a strict fitness routine. Enjoy the holidays guilt free by practicing moderation and keeping these things in mind. I've had to take a few days off from exercising and have had to remind myself that it doesn't matter so much what I do this week, but rather the rest of the year.  I hope you all have a peaceful and merry Christmas!

Sleeping Beauty Was On To Something...

 

 

 

In this day and age, a proper night’s sleep is very hard to obtain. There are so many distractions that keep us awake way past sunset and our sleep schedules get skewy. However, not getting enough sleep doesn’t seem to be a huge concern as long as there is a big pot of hot coffee waiting for us in the morning.  We stay up to watch television, play on social media sites or socialize with friends. We oversleep, overeat and become lazy because we do not stop to rest. Our bodies are so dependent on chemicals and stimulants to get us through the day when simply unplugging earlier in the night and exercising in the morning could do the trick.

The Harvard Women’s Health Watch suggests six reasons to get enough sleep:

·         Learning and memory: Sleep helps the brain commit new information to memory through a process called memory consolidation. In studies, people who’d slept after learning a task did better on tests later.

·         Metabolism and weight: Chronic sleep deprivation may cause weight gain by affecting the way our bodies process and store carbohydrates, and by altering levels of hormones that affect our appetite.

·         Safety: Sleep debt contributes to a greater tendency to fall asleep during the daytime. These lapses may cause falls and mistakes such as medical errors, air traffic mishaps, and road accidents

·         Mood: Sleep loss may result in irritability, impatience, inability to concentrate, and moodiness. Too little sleep can also leave you too tired to do the things you like to do.

·         Cardiovascular health: Serious sleep disorders have been linked to hypertension, increased stress hormone levels, and irregular heartbeat.

·         Disease: Sleep deprivation alters immune function, including the activity of the body’s killer cells. Keeping up with sleep may also help fight cancer.

Sleep is SO important to our bodies but it seldom is a priority- especially this time of year. Do yourself a favor and try going to bed between 9 and 10p.m for a few nights to see if you notice improvements in your memory, health and mood.  

 

Skinny Santa?!

With the holidays coming up, many people put their healthy lifestyles on hold. Temptation is just too much. Well, with these tips, you should be able to navigate through the holidays fairly smoothly without having to wear stretchy sweat pants everyday just to be comfortable.

1.      Don’t show up at a party empty handed. By offering to bring a side dish or and appetizer, you are given the opportunity to bring a healthy dish that not only you can enjoy, but that may spark interest in your friends and family. Many people don’t know just how yummy eating healthy foods can be, so why not take advantage of this situation! Plus, the host will most likely be so thankful for the help!

2.      Eat a light meal before you go. Heading to a party on an empty stomach could be dangerous. All the unhealthy foods and sweets could be too much temptation in your weakened state. However, if you eat a light meal chock full of veggies and lean proteins, by the time you get to the party you won’t be nearly as tempted. I prefer drink to a nutrient dense protein smoothie to help curb my appetite.

3.      Don’t completely deprive yourself of the festive foods! Enjoy some of the treats, but reign yourself in! Our nature is to over indulge. Get enough to taste and enjoy without have to “fill up.” You’ll enjoy the party more if you’re not constantly having to deny yourself, but can walk away guilt free if you stick to just one or two “cheats” rather than gorging 100%.

That’s it: 3 simple tips that could totally change the outcome of your holidays! Make sure to stay active and eat well. Let the festivities begin!!

In It For The Long Haul

     In my personal experience, staying motivated to be healthy in fit is not easy. Birthdays, holidays, Fridays and really just being awake are big triggers for me when it comes to unhealthy eating. And, as you probably could have guessed, the unhealthy eating results in me feeling sluggish so I definitely do NOT exercise.  So how do stay focused and disciplined with all of the stressors and temptations flying around you?

 

     I've heard a lot of people say the trick to staying on course is to make a lot of small goals. Micro sized. I'm talking "walk 15 mins, 3 days a week." From there, your goals will gradually get bigger, but never being more than one day at a time. For many, this system has proven effective, however, for me, it's my pot hole. I am a "big picture" kind of person, so when my goals are so small, I have a hard time celebrating and feeling victory over my progress. So I just don't even attempt to achieve it.

     For me, I have found the most effective form of motivation is competition, whether with myself or a group of people. I do not like to lose and that has proven to be my secret weapon for weight loss. Last year, I wasted 6 months going in circles with my weight because I just could not find any real desire to push myself. Sure, losing weight was what I wanted, but it was not enough to push me like I needed to be pushed. However, when I entered my first challenge group, a switch flipped- there was no way I was going to lose to ANYONE. I worked my butt off and won that first challenge. That was when I realized I was fueled by success and triumph.

     There's something about competing that keeps you accountable for your choices. I certainly did not want to be the one in the group who had not exercised and who was still sneaking fast food. I wanted to appear committed and driven and the only way to do that was to actually BE committed and driven with my workout schedules and clean eating. You can not fake physical progress.

     Everyone, I'm sure, is motivated by different things, but I am grateful to have found what works well for me. So whether its my birthday, the end of a long week or even if I'm just awake,  I am much more equipped to fight my temptations than when I first began this process.  Bring it on holiday season!

Knocked Down But Not Defeated

I realize that it has been a few weeks since my last post. Here is what has been going on:

1. I went to the state fair. One of my favorite events of the year- I love everything from the sketchy carnies to the questionable rides thrown up over night to the greasy, americanized food. That being said, I cheated in my eating WAY too much in that one day!

2. I got married! I am now officially married to my favorite person and am so thankful that we no longer have to say "goodnight" to each other.


3. I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) and told that if I wanted to have kids I had to go on both medication AND hormones. Ouch.

That last event is what I wanted to focus this entry on. Ever since I was 12, I have had very irregular, painful periods. They were so irregular, that there were a few years that I have only had my period twice in the entire year. I have also always been a heavier girl. In elementary school, I was shopping in the plus sizes and by 8th grade, I already weighed 130/145 lbs. My weight was always a very sensitive subject for me since I have 2 brothers who are both naturally fit. I remember being told that it wasn't my fault, that I was just "big boned." But even as a child, I knew that to be a lie. I have very dainty, small bones- I currently wear a size 5 ring and even THAT is a little loose! So I knew it wasn't my bones. I just blamed it on drawing the short end of the stick in the gene pool. Even with being overweight, though, I never wore bigger than a size 8.

However, something supernatural happened in highschool- I began to shrink in size! That 8 shrunk to a 6 which in turn shrunk down further to a 4 and eventually a 2. These were the later years in highschool where all the smaller girls were developing hips and years of eating junk food were catching up to them. I felt confident, I felt attractive. But something was not right. As I mentioned in my first entry, I was later diagnosed with an anxiety disorder that was causing me to become sick and lose weight. There was nothing healthy about my body at that point, but for the first time in my life, I was not getting side ways glances when I went for seconds at dinner.
Let's jump ahead to the present day. Where after two weeks of wedding celebrations and honeymoon eating I was diagnosed with PCOS. PCOS is a homonal disorder in women which leads to irregular menstrual cyclces as well as insulin resistance. Just those two symtoms alone completely change my world.
When looked at deeper, the irregular menstrual cycles are caused because my hormones are so off balance that my eggs never come to maturity and don't shed in a timely manner. This is the root of my very painful, inconsistent periods. It also makes it very difficult for me to concieve or even be able to bring a pregnancy to full term without miscarriage. Talk about heavy news at the end of your honeymoon! I was crushed! I'm 22 years old and being told that, while it is not impossible for me to bear children, the odds are definitely not in my favor.
I also realized that my fight against the obesity in my life literally is and has been and uphill battle. Sure, my sedentary lifestyle did not set me up to combat the insulin resistance inside my body, but my weight is also not something that can be controlled with just small portions. My doctor was wonderful, and very clearly mapped out the foods I should be eating to fight against this, which I am happy to share if anyone needs guidance. But the realization of having to eat in this way (even though it was pretty much my normal diet anyway) because of a MEDICAL condition also hit me hard.
Now, I'm not one to play victim or feel sorry for myself, but with all of this news, I turned into the BIGGEST wimp. I cried and got angry. I rebelled and ate as many candy bars and desserts as I needed to comfort myself. I ate meals that consisted mostly of bread and pasta. I was digging myself in a hole of self pity.
I have not worked out and I have gained weight. And here is the worst part of 2 week tantrum: the hardest of symptoms caused by PCOS can be managed with diet, exercise, hormones and a metication for the insulin resistance. I don't HAVE to worry about obesity if I follow the workout routine and diet that I have BEEN following. I have a high chance of succuess in concieving AND bringing the child to full term if I take both of my medications. I just have to accept that this is my body. It is not perfect. But this is not a death sentence either. I can still live a very full, rich life with this disorder. I just have to keep up the work I have started.
As I stated in my last blog entry, I have worked very hard to rid myself of all medications. It was only 2.5 years ago that I was taking 4 daily medications. Being healthy and clean from all chemicals and hormones has been my greatest accomplishment and a source of tremedous pride in my hard work. That being said, being BACK on chemicals and hormones does not mean that I have failed or that I am weak. It simply means that I have chosen what is best for MY family; current and future. This was a very tough conclusion for me to come to, but the Lord is GOOD and He has great plans for life.